Happiness is Not Bird Poop

What?! I know, weird title, right? It's our new family motto:) - so here are my thoughts about being happy.

The other day JT was having a melt-down. He was saying that he wasn't happy, he'd had a terrible day, and he didn't have a happy life. His day, you ask? It had consisted of spending the day having fun with the family, going swimming, eating out, having a treat, etc. But now, oh the horror, he couldn't play video games, and that was the focus of his unhappiness. This called for a lecture. First, I pointed out to him all the fun things that had happened that day - we made a list, and it was long. Then I pointed out that only ONE thing had gone "wrong" that day (no video games). Obviously there were a LOT more good things going on than bad, but because he was focusing on the ONE bad thing, he was feeling unhappy.

Pssst, here's where my title comes in.

I said, "JT, happiness is not something that just happens to us, it is something we choose. If a bird poops on you, you don't have any control of that - it just happens. But happiness is not bird poop. You have to CHOOSE to be happy, and it's easier to choose that when we focus on (or do) good things instead of bad things" (of course, this produced a lot of laughing, and suddenly it was much easier for him to feel happy;)).

I've been thinking about happiness a lot lately, partly because my friend Naomi is devoting a whole month of blog posts to happiness, which I think is great. She is including posts about things like flowers, colors, exercise, singing, dancing, romance, reading, etc. My own list would also include family and friends, good food, Disneyland (for my inner child:)), and the mountains, to name a few. All of these things make it easier for us to choose to be happy. In fact, they make it so easy sometimes, that it doesn't feel like a choice - we say "these things MAKE me happy." but nope, I still think it's a choice.

It's more obvious that happiness really is a choice when it's harder to make that choice....and sometimes it's a lot harder. Life's circumstances are often downright unhappy (and I'm not talking about people with depression/chemical imbalances, etc. because that's a whole other issue, and sometimes goes beyond mere choice). Sometimes we choose things that make us sad, angry, frustrated, etc. But often, they really are just things that happen to us, and that we have no control over. Sometime's life's circumstances are bird poop, for heaven's sake!

I remember when Joe had to be in Korea for a year without me - not a happiness-inducing circumstance, not to mention that I had a brand new baby who was very fussy. One day, during that time, my sister asked me if I was happy. I was able to honestly answer that, Yes, I was. Even though it was one of the hardest times in my life, even though I often cried myself to sleep at night, overall, I really was happy.

Where is your focus? What is your attitude? What are your actions....your choices?

For me, I focused on my family and other blessings. I was able to live with my parents (yes, that was a good thing). I got to talk to Joe almost every day, and sometimes video conference. I was able to be there to celebrate my grandma's 90th birthday, and I was also there when she passed away (yes, also a good thing). I had two beautiful children that I got so spend my days with, because I didn't have to work, even though I was playing the single parent. Joe got to come home for a few weeks for the birth of the baby. I got to spend time with friends that I hadn't seen in years. I got to live in Utah, which I love. And the list goes on.

Joe sometimes worries that I won't be happy about where we get sent for the military next. I always tell him that it doesn't matter where we go, I'll still be happy - even if it's the last place that I want to go (I won't say where that is, I don't want to jinx myself, hehehehe). Here in Korea, I see a lot of unhappy spouses. It is not always easy to live here. We are half-way around the world from our family and friends. The culture is the complete opposite of what we are used to. We can't speak the language. A lot of the conveniences that we take for granted in America, simply don't exist here. It's not easy to get around. It's crowded. It's polluted. There is a long list of bird poop, and sometimes it's a lot easier to choose to be unhappy here. I know people who just stay at home and count down the days until they leave, and they're miserable the whole time.

I can't do that. I have to choose something else. So despite all the things that are out of my control, despite the fact that I ache to be with my family, despite that sometimes being here just makes me want to pull my hair out, and yes (gasp) I complain.....I choose to focus on the good things, to do the good things, and I choose to be happy. Korea is a BEAUTIFUL country. The four distinct seasons here are fabulous, and I love it. There is so much to see and do here, there is never an excuse to be bored. The people are lovely. The food is delicious. I have great friends here. And best of all, I am here with my husband and children.

I will actually miss Korea when we finally leave, even if I never want to come back;)

Poop happens, as the saying goes - that's how it goes, right?;)

Bird Poop, yes.

Happiness, YES!....because it's not bird poop.

Memoirs of a Field Trip Chaperone

Dear Korean War Memorial, not long ago, I said (on this very blog, in fact) that I would never get sick of you. I really meant it at the time, I really did, but last week I unexpectedly reached my saturation level. I still love you, but I think a temporary separation is in the best interest for both of us.

Dear 4th grade girls, you are a strange and beautiful species. Thanks for letting me be your chaperone to the War Memorial. You were all well-behaved and polite. P.S. Cora, I love spending time with you!

Dear father of one of the girls I chaperoned, I realize that you are from Russia, and that it is part of your culture and everything, but was it really appropriate to teach/play Russian Roulette with your children, with a Nerf gun, and have them shoot themselves in the head? Just wondering. I'll try not to judge.

Dear school district, I understand that you can't afford buses for a bunch of field trips, so it's okay that we had to walk the mile from the school to the Memorial, and then back again. I just wish it hadn't been raining.

Dear rain, I really shouldn't complain. Thanks to you, all the yellow dust in the air that had been KILLING my eyes for the past week, was washed to the ground in your lovely puddles. It looked nasty in those puddles, but better down there than in my eyes, and my nose, and my lungs.

Dear Joe, thanks for tracking us down at the War Memorial when I realized that I had left my military ID in the car on base, and wouldn't be able to get back on base to walk back to the elementary school. Good thing you weren't at work!

Dear souvenir shop at the Korean War Memorial, Cora really likes the Disney's Little Mermaid mechanical pencil that she bought from you, but I have to admit, I'm having a hard time finding the connection (Korea....War....Disney....Mermaids???)

Dear loner protest lady at the gate to the base, I appreciated your lovely smile, as you welcomed us with your big sign that basically was telling us to get our of your country. P.S. We still have 1 year, 3 months, and 13 days left here:)

Dear fellow-chaperones, it's the little things, isn't it?:)

the Good, the Bad, and Some Other Stuff

Note: I completely, totally, and shamelessly stole the idea for this post from my friend Katie, including the title...kind of:) It's just what I do sometimes.

Recent Good Decisions
- Started exercising again
- Tried some new restaurants (Greek, Mexican, Thai, and Middle Eastern=YUM!)
- Being in a Babysitting co-op
- Taking 4 kids to church by myself every other Sunday because Joe is working (it's really tempting to stay home sometimes, but I don't, and I'm always glad I don't)

Recent not-so-good Decisions
- Ordered from a Korean menu that I couldn't read, and Joe wasn't with me to translate
- Stayed up way too late, because I hate going to bed by myself when Joe is working mids
- Buying 3 lbs. of fresh hamburger, and forgetting about it until it was expired....more than once
- Spending too much time on the computer....I'm on it right now.

Recently Excited about
- The possibility of going home for a visit in the summer and seeing the final Harry Potter movie with Joe and my sister Rebekah
- The great weather we've been having
- Getting some new patterns in the mail, very quickly after ordering them
- The possibility of being able to run a 5K in 2 months or so

Recently Making
- A schoolhouse tunic (one of my new patterns)
- A Korean friendship quilt/wall hanging
- The most delicious homemade pitas with hummus and greek salad (thanks for the recipe Harmony!)
- Messes....everywhere;)

Recently Loving
- The book I just finished, "Scribbling Women"
- BBC movies
- Tuna fish with Wheat Thins
- That Joe still makes me laugh all the time. Recently I mentioned that I wanted to get something (I can't remember what), and a short time later Joe asked me if I was still thinking about it. When I said no, he said he was disappointed. "When you want something, I expect you to get OBSESSED with it, like I do. I try my best to enable your obsession, but you don't help me out AT ALL!" hahahaha, I love my OCD husband:)

Mom, I Have to Go to the Bathroom

Sometimes these words come at the most inconvenient time and/or place.

This (don't be offended) is not what you usually expect to see, as a woman, when you go to a public restroom.

Not a drunk clown, but a man using a urinal....well, not that you'd expect to see a drunk clown either....would you? But if it's a unisex public bathroom, then it is disconcertingly inevitable....the man using a urinal, not a drunk clown....although, which one is really more disconcerting? Hmmmmmm. (Marissa, is this Blu's worst nightmare?) Anyway, I'm not really a fan of unisex public bathrooms.

Alex used one of these (squatting toilet)

for the first time the other day (he had to poop). He was able to figure it out and go with no problem (with my help, of course), but when we first walked in the stall he took one look at it and said, "This isn't right Mom." Yep, I know kid.

A lot of times the public toilets here are not stocked with toilet paper in them. Sometimes you'll see vending machines with toilet paper. Or better yet, sometimes you'll get approached by Christian people handing out these.

What better way to advertise your church then on a packet of toilet paper?

The older plumbing in Korea is inadequate for flushing toilet paper - it's just not powerful enough, and it will clog the toilet. You know how there's usually a waste basket in every stall? In Korea, if there is a waste basket in the stall, it is for one thing - to throw away your toilet paper after you've wiped. Don't flush it - so say the signs. In new buildings and apartments you don't really have that problem, but sometimes when you're out and about, it gets archaic.

You've heard of soap on a rope? How about soap on a metal rod?

Did you know (of course you didn't) that the little old cleaning ladies in Korea (ajuma) do not make sure the men's room is empty before going in to clean it.....they don't care. They've literally mopped inbetween Joe's legs as he's standing at the urinal. Yes, I'm serious. It makes me laugh so hard just thinking about it - sorry Joe:)

So there you have it - all you ever wanted to know about public bathrooms here and more....much, much more;) Oh, and have I mentioned that I really like having all my kids out of diapers?:)

4 Years and Counting

Birthday Dinner

Birthday Cake
Birthday Present

Birthday Boy

Last year on Alex's birthday I wrote about how, at three years old, he was no longer a baby. And yet now that he's four, he's still my baby. I don't think this is going to change anytime soon. Alex has grown a lot this past year. He got himself out of diapers. He is a Sunbeam. He likes to salute people in uniforms. He calls people "dude". He loves biking. He likes to play with cars and playdough. He colors all the time. He knows his way around the Nintendo DS. His range of facial expressions is endless. I don't think he's afraid of anything. He is a ninja. He is a dancer. I really, really like him....we all do:)

It Smells Like Spring

We had a busy and fun Spring Break this past week. Joe only had to work 2 days, and I think we went somewhere every single day that he was off. The weather was perfect for all of our adventures, and Spring sure does smell good.

We went to Everland a couple of times, and they have a lot of animals there. They don't necessarily smell good, but I could have watched these chimpanzees all day. Here's a picture of our monkeys watching the monkeys.

They are so human-like, it is fascinating.

Admit it, I bet that if you are married you do some sort of maitenance on your spouse (i.e. pop zits, pick things off them, etc.). You're just like a monkey.

Look at this face!

Now, what does smell good, and abounds in Korea, are the cherry blossoms. We went to the Hannam Yeouido Spring Flower Festival. The streets were packed with people.

The parks along the river were full.

But once again, I had an idea in my head of what the flower festival would be like, and I was wrong. I thought that at a flower festival there would be a ton of vendors selling flowers. Silly me. But there were a ton of food vendors.

Take a closer look.

Now that's a smell I'd like to avoid. Bundaegi - silk worm larvae. you can have it roasted or boiled. Either way, it stinks. I will never try it....ever. And finally, back at Everland, they were having their Tulip Festival (Korea loves festivals, can you tell?). We got some fun pictures in front of all the tulips.

There were way more flowers here than there were at the flower festival, and yes, they were even selling tulips! Way to go Everland:)

And speaking of Everland, I've decided to go on this.

The T-Express has the world's steepest drop on a wooden roller coaster. It is also the world's ninth fastest, fourth tallest, and sixth longest wooden roller coaster. It was ranked the world's #1 best, most thrilling roller coaster by the Themepark Review, and ranked #1 on the official coaster poll in 2008 and 2010. With stats like that, who can resist, right? Actually, every time we go to Everland, and I look up at this beast, I get a little scared. But I've decided I HAVE to go on it. I will let you know how it goes, if I survive. And if you didn't already have a good enough reason to come and visit us in Korea, this might just be it:)

Berry Dirty

My friend Kimberly invited us to go down to the Nonsan Strawberry Festival on Friday. Both of our husbands were workings, so we set out on our own with six kids in tow.

I think before we got there, we thought that the picture above (which was taken from the website advertising the festival) was a good representation of what we would experience that day. But at the end of the day I took the picture below, and I think that summed things up much better:)

MUD! The festival was in a big field, and it had rained ALL day the previous day. The parking was also in the field, and there were many spinning tires going nowhere and spraying mud everywhere. Luckily, I am such a skilled driver, that getting stuck in the mud was not an option for us. Getting shoes in the mud, however, was inevitable. These poor ladies had on their traditional hanbok, with little white shoes.

In addition to the muddy conditions, we didn't get to pick any strawberries. We found out later that you have to pre-register to pick strawberries, and that the fields where you pick them aren't at the same place as the festival. Despite the disappointments, we had a really good time. We had strawberry juice, and strawberry icecream. and strawberries covered in chocolate, and strawberry jam on toast with cucumber slices (we ARE in Korea), and the kids colored strawberry masks, and Kimberly's kids made strawberry soap.

Of course, the kids' favorite part of the festival had nothing to do with strawberries. There was an area with animals that you could look at, and pet some of them. We spent at least half an hour there. Neither of our families have pets, so we let the kids get their fill. These bear cubs were so cute and so little. Where the heck is their mother?!

Everyone got a turn with the birds.

Alex was the only one brave enough for the snake.

The best of the best were these bins with baby rabbits and mice. When we first got there, we joined this group of pre-schoolers.

There were about 30 of them, and even though they had a couple of teachers with them, there was NO adult supervision. Some of these "pre-schoolers" were really just toddlers, and they had no idea how to correctly handle these animals. There was pinching, and grabbing, and sqeezing, and dropping, and THROWING for heaven's sake. I rescued 5 mice that had been dropped/thrown out of the bins, and Kimberly got a few more. We were cringing the whole time, and trying to tell the kids to be careful. Of course, they didn't understand us because we weren't speaking Korean. Cora, my big-hearted daughter, was in an animal-rights-activist frenzy. This face says it all.

After the school kids left, things were a bit more calm, and all of our kids were very careful with the animals.

The funniest thing that happened at the festival was that we became famous. Okay, not really, but were were stalked. When we first got there we were approached by a man and his assistant. They were taking pictures and video for all the promotional stuff for next year's festival. They followed us around all day.

We finally had to say no more pictures. Besides, there were other American's there who needed to have their 15 minutes of fame too:) All in all, it was a very successful festival, and we're glad we went...

...even if our shoes will never be the same:)