Second Day

Annie was right, the sun came out.  Everything was going great today.  Great breakfast.  We cleaned the house.  Babysat a cute little boy.  I wasn't mad anyone or anything.  Feeling good.

Then I went to the dentist.

I've always had a fear of the dentist.  Why would any sane person NOT be afraid of  pain, sickening smells, and horrible noises that cost you hundreds of dollars.  It's why I ALWAYS had to use gas (not just to take the edge off the pain, but to take the edge off my fear).  It's why I don't like certain flavors (that I associate with the gas).  It's why I have rarely been to the dentist during my adult years.

All of that changed when I went to Korea.  My dentist in Korea......I love him.  He should be sainted.  After the first couple of visits I was never afraid to go again, and I went regularly.  The pain was minimal, even when giving those stupid shots for numbing (his method was perfection), even when doing a root canal.  I never needed the gas, because there wasn't pain and fear.  I don't know if I'd go so far as to say it was a pleasant experience, but it was definitely a whole new world for me.

Sooooo, when I went to the dentist yesterday (which was just for the initial exam and x-rays) I wasn't nervous.  It's like I had forgotten all the years previous to Korea.  And when I went today to have a filling done, I wasn't nervous either.  I just sat back, breathed deep, and was ready to go.

And then my dentist got started.

Even as I'm writing this, my heart is starting to beat faster, and my hands are shaking a little.

As soon as he started giving those stupid shots to numb me, I started to scream inside my head.  It's not like he was barbaric, but he was just like EVERY other dentist I had ever had before Korea - that is to say, he was NOT my dentist in Korea.  He did not have the perfect, magical method, where I could hardly feel anything.  It hurt.  Is it the worst pain I've ever felt?  Of course not!  The problem is, that specific type of pain is tied in directly to my fear of dentists.  As soon as I felt that pain, all the fear came rushing back.  They gave me a few minutes alone to wait while I got good and numb, and I sat there in a panic, my hands shaking, and a few tears escaping before they came back in.  I held it together on the outside, but on the inside my fear was magnified by the smell of the anesthetic, and then by the sound of the drill against my teeth.  And then it got worse, because this particular cavity just happened to be right up against a nerve, so the drilling started to hurt.  He had to stop and give me more shots, which didn't work, and then MORE SHOTS, which didn't work.  He finally put on a temporary filling and said I need to come back when the nerve has had time to retract.

I cried all the way home.  Like, ugly crying.  Of course, I'm still raging with hormones, so I'm sure that contributed somewhat.  I had to pull over to the side of the road just before I got home so I could pull myself together.  None of my kids are scared of the dentist, and I didn't want them to see me so upset, and then maybe get scared themselves the next time they have to go.

I'm asking for gas next time.

First Day

Ugh.  First day of a two-week Spring Break.  Usually I like having my kids home during the breaks.....and then I like it when they go back;)  But today was a rough start.  If this is any indication of the next two weeks, then I quit.

Kids fighting first thing in the morning.  Very. First. Thing.  There was a 15 minute ban on talking.  It's a good thing they took me serious, because I was ready to get out the duct tape (I'm not even kidding).

I may or may not have said, "I hope when you have kids you have one that's just like you."

Checked our finances, and we are not doing as good as we thought. (deep sigh).  Going to have to get creative this week.

Dentist appointment this morning, and 4 future appointments scheduled (including one tomorrow).  Lots of money that we don't have.  Thank goodness none of the kids had cavities. That's right, it's all me.

The dog peed on the couch, because she was so excited when I got home from the dentist.  I was not as excited to see her. Pretty much not at all. Pretty much I wanted to kill her.

Diarrhea.  Enough said.

The dinner I made was bland.  Actually, nobody complained but me, but I just wanted a nice dinner after a poopy day, and I didn't get it.

Thought we were all done with paperwork for our new assignment.  Not quite.

And to top it all off, hormones are raging.  Thanks Mother Nature.  Perfect timing. 

Because of the above mentioned hormones, I was just mad all day.  Just mad, for no reason.  It was irrational.  I even got mad at a stupid article on Yahoo that was trying to tell me how to make the perfect toast.  Toast?!  Are you kidding me?  That is the stupidest thing ever.  Doesn't it just make you mad?  No?  Whatever.

I should not be around people for a couple of days, but I have four little people that are here to stay.  It almost makes me look forward to my second dentist appointment tomorrow.  How sad is that?

I can just hear Annie in my head now....."The sun'll come out, tomorrow!"

It always does.